This is chronic...I am such a novice blogger that I cant figure out how to get my blog out there so others can view it. If I had time I would get 'The complete idiots guide to blogging' and read it thus teaching myself all I need to know to get underway. As it is I will keep floundering around until I stumble upon the answer. Yes I know it would be quicker to read the book but I refuse to do that. I am too too busy.
Over the next few days I will give a background to how I got here...being too busy to read books on blogging and being in general more positive than I have been for years.
On my 40th birthday I announced that the second half of my life was going to be better than the first half. (I made the wild assumption that I would live to be at least 80 and so in order to continue to forfill this prophesy I now have to do just that). Now to be fair my life up till 40 wasnt really all that bad its just that I wasnt blessed with one of those resiliant personalities that flicks off all of lifes problems. Depression is a genetically inherited issue for me and from the age of 4 I now know that I suffered from it on one form or another. I can remember hating myself from that age and verbalising it frequently. Sad eh?
So, from 4 I've had this battle to like myself which up until recently I failed miserably at doing. Jump 36 years to 40 and you have one messed up lady.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Anxiously checking my blog
I wasnt sure I'd be able to access my blog again and it would be lost in cyberspace forever...sad eh? But as you see I have accessed it and so I can relax. I will not access it again until tomorrow.
Spelling...
...by the way, I'm not big on editing which is a shame cos I am not awfully good at spelling. Just ignore mistakes...I dont care.
Oh and also antidepresents do work for some people. I'm one of them and for today all I will say is dont give up on them too soon.
Oh and also antidepresents do work for some people. I'm one of them and for today all I will say is dont give up on them too soon.
Anxiously saying hello
Well, I have just spent an anxious time making massive decisions about my template layout, font, colours, etc etc. All incredibly important and of course something that any reader will oooohh and aaaahh over for at least 2 seconds. I have zero expectation for my blog...it is for me alone. It is my journal, my musings, my random thoughts (and as you get to know me you will realise how random those thoughts are).
Actually that is total rubbish...I have high expectations and I hope to become at least as famous as Julie Powell and have a wonderful film made of my life staring probably not Meryl Streep because by the time I am famous she will be too old to play the gorgeous me!
Thinking about this and what I want to do is a just like a big tangled up ball of wool in my head. I am feeling very positive today which in itself is very random (a word I have to use alot as it is one of my teens favourite words right now and will 'speak' to the younger generations)...(by the way I'm 42). My days of feeling positive are usually restricted to days 1 to 21. Hopefully women everywhere will go "Ah yes I know what she means". So it is not day 1,2,3......21 and I AM feeling positive. For the past 42 years positive days have been something of a difficult thing to pin down. Axiety has been a major feature and depression has reared its very ugly and destructive head quite a few times.
BUT...I write this blog for me and for anyone who cares to glimps some of my ideas and hopes. And I can say catagorically that HOPE is a biggy in my life now. Depression and hope dont usually go hand in hand but there is a way up and out. Whilst searching for answers and trying in vain to reduce anxiety and depression in my life I discovered that web resources on the whole where pretty useless...I got especially fed up with hearing that antidepresents didnt work or were a waste of time. And I got more depressed than ever feeling that there was no way to get help that would be sustainable. I know that when your depressed you feel that there is no way out. Well I found a way...or ways actually. I'm going to go back in time and rehash some of my journal entries from that past 18 months...its therapy and thats cool. I hope it will be help for at least one person out there who is suffering from that debilitating disease.
Actually that is total rubbish...I have high expectations and I hope to become at least as famous as Julie Powell and have a wonderful film made of my life staring probably not Meryl Streep because by the time I am famous she will be too old to play the gorgeous me!
Thinking about this and what I want to do is a just like a big tangled up ball of wool in my head. I am feeling very positive today which in itself is very random (a word I have to use alot as it is one of my teens favourite words right now and will 'speak' to the younger generations)...(by the way I'm 42). My days of feeling positive are usually restricted to days 1 to 21. Hopefully women everywhere will go "Ah yes I know what she means". So it is not day 1,2,3......21 and I AM feeling positive. For the past 42 years positive days have been something of a difficult thing to pin down. Axiety has been a major feature and depression has reared its very ugly and destructive head quite a few times.
BUT...I write this blog for me and for anyone who cares to glimps some of my ideas and hopes. And I can say catagorically that HOPE is a biggy in my life now. Depression and hope dont usually go hand in hand but there is a way up and out. Whilst searching for answers and trying in vain to reduce anxiety and depression in my life I discovered that web resources on the whole where pretty useless...I got especially fed up with hearing that antidepresents didnt work or were a waste of time. And I got more depressed than ever feeling that there was no way to get help that would be sustainable. I know that when your depressed you feel that there is no way out. Well I found a way...or ways actually. I'm going to go back in time and rehash some of my journal entries from that past 18 months...its therapy and thats cool. I hope it will be help for at least one person out there who is suffering from that debilitating disease.
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